I love reading adoption blogs. Such wonderful stories, great insights, helpful tips. But one blindspot seems to be the month after the child gets home. There's lots of posts leading up to the adoption, maybe a few posts in country and then everything goes dark for a month. This is understandable, for the same reason that bloggers don't tend to be really chatty in the first weeks post-partum: you're sleep-deprived and living in a whirlwind. Which I definitely am. But I thought a record of the transition from day 1 to day 30 might be helpful, so I am keeping a log.
Warning: This is unlikely to be scintillating.
Night 0 (10pm EST)
My parents, brother and sister met us at the airport with Munchkin and Twinkle. Mei-Mei was stony-faced and clingy. When we put her in her carseat she cried for about 1 minute and then no more the rest of the way home. (15 minutes) Her first flicker of interest came at home when the boys brought out their new lightsabers. Her first smile was while hitting Grandpa with it. She was delighted by the cats and picked them up by their back ends. She petted them a few times, yanking her hand back when they made sudden movements, and hit at them a few times.
She went to sleep at 2 am and slept until 11:30am. She went to sleep on 'Stache's chest.
Day 1
Things she ate today:
Blueberry yogurt cup
3 bites dressing, 2 servings ham
Lots of small cups of tea
No dinner
She goes back and forth between being hesitant and wanting to be
held, and throwing herself into playing with the boys. Liked digging in dirt with shovels but was distressed by leaves, dirt on bare feet.She has a small cough. Shares food easily. Likes
lightsabers. Likes her new tea set, copies Danny in taking tiny sips of tea with the
little spoon. Talks about cats a lot. She hit them 2 or 3 times and was reprimanded. She seems much more willing to be held by me than when we were in China. Napped
3:30-7 in between 'Stache and I on our double bed.
Night 1
Went to bed 11pm. Liked laying/sleeping on 'Stache’s chest
but cried whenever he tried to roll her off. Wouldn’t sleep in the little bed
at all. Cried and cried when we tried to make her. Slept in little bed with 'Stache for 1 hour, then woke up crying. Did this until 6 am, when we got up. Wouldn’t
be held by me.
Day 2
Things she ate:
Blueberry yogurt
2 or 3 bites grilled cheese
Almost all of a 6 oz can of mushrooms, drained (she found this can and asked to eat it)
Tea with honey
Lots of frozen peas
Frequently wanting to be held. In the morning she wanted to go outside and see
neighbor children but wanted me to hold her. Very interested in bikes,
pushed/pulled on Munchkin’s tire to “assist” him. Slept 1pm-3pm. At end of day she went
out with 'Stache and the boys to play with neighbors, was comfortable with a good bit of
separation between her and Matthew. Much playing with trains and duplos.
Night 2
Went to sleep lying next to Matthew at 7:30, slept until
11:30. Very awake, didn’t want to go back down. At 1:30, gave her 1 tsp
Benadryl in OJ. Slept 2am-8am.
Day 3 Saturday
Things she ate:
Vanilla yogurt
Peas (mostly dipped in ketchup)
½ egg cheese sandwich (dipped in ketchup)
Tea and animal crackers
No dinner
Played independently with boys with duplos in their room for a
while. We all went to a nearby park. I carried her in my Tula carrier. She took our green plastic shovel with her.
Had a glorious time with the boys at playground, shoveled bark and dirt, climbed the plastic “stone” pile, went down slides with boys over and over. Did not know
how to use spines, just used stairs or stone pile to climb the play structure. Napped 3-5pm.
Stayed with 'Stache while the boys and I went to grocery store. 'Stache said she
walked around a bit looking anxious because she woke up and we were gone.
Hugged Munchkin and Twinkle spontaneously when we got home.
Night 3
Slept 9pm to 4:30 am. Didn’t want to go back to sleep.
Resisted until 6:45, when we got up.
Day 4 Sunday
Things she ate:
2 square waffles with syrup
3 boiled eggs without yokes
1 piece bread w/pumpkin butter
Brownie
Sm portion noodles
Lots of mischief and mayhem. I said "That is not a toy!" a lot today, about a bottle of bleach, an antique book, 'Stache's work phone and a table knife. Today was very stressful. The honeymoon is starting to wear off. It's hard to parent in language other than your own. She is big enough and active enough that you really have to watch her every minute. Constantly working defence. Slept 1:30-4.
Night 4
Slept 7:30pm-1:30am. Didn’t want to go back to sleep. Gave 1
tsp Benadryl in OJ. Slept 2:30-6:45.
Day 5
Things she ate:
Multigrain cheerios w/ milk
Yogurt
2 chik nuggets, sm waffle fries
Sm handful yogurt covered raisins
2 cheesy breads, 1 piece pizza
I took her to the doctor's office. She was fine in the car. Quiet/clingy in the
dr’s office. Howled and struggled when she got shots. I took her to Walmart to get her a bike but she wasn't interested in one. She was very interested in the nerf guns, so we bought one of those. She took a 30 min nap in the car. She was in a good mood when we got back.
Played outside with nerf guns. Extremely rambunctious after supper,
chasing/being chased by the boys all around the house.
Night 5
Slept 8-1am. Cried for an hour. Slept 2-5:45.
Day 6 Tuesday
Things she ate:
2 boiled egg whites and a few bites of bread
Home made mac and cheese
No dinner
A friend of mine came over, 'Stache ran an errand while she was here.
Mei-Mei spent most of the visit in my lap. 'Stache tried to get her to take nap
on little bed, she cried/screamed for about 1 ½ hours. Eventually he persuaded
her to lie down on her bed with her cheek in his palm for about 20 min. After
that he let her climb into our bed and she slept by him until 6.
Night 6
'Stache was sick and couldn't have her go to sleep on his chest, so he slept on the couch. Mei-Mei cried like a lost soul for an hour. She wouldn't let me touch her. I gave her a tsp of Benedryl in orange juice and she gradually collapsed onto the bed and slept from 9:30-6am.
Day 7 Wednesday
Things she ate:
A few bites of biscuits and gravy
1 lg biscuit w/ pumpkin butter
Tea with honey
Leftover mac and cheese
Sm portion rice and beans
Screamed when I tried to make her sit on my lap for story
time. Eventually hung out nearby while I did “school” with the boys. I made birdseed ornaments with the boys and Mei-Mei stirred the mixture. 'Stache and I took turns trying to get her to go down for nap
on little bed: nothing. Only crying or sitting and holding. Eventually just sat
by herself on the little bed for a while. After naptime 'Stache and I had a council of war and decided that trying to make her sleep in the little bed was doing damage to the bonding process and that having more room in our bed would help her sleep through the night. We found a $190 king-sized mattress and boxspring and a local appliance store. Mei-Mei "helped me” and 'Stache move stuff out of our room and our new king mattresses in. Very enthusiastic about new mattress, jumped on it with boys. Addressed me as "Mama" for the first time.
Night 7
After dinner I took Munchkin to Walmart to buy king-sized sheets, leaving Twinkle and Mei-Mei with 'Stache, who is still sick. Twinkle and Mei-Mei were bickering over poking the cell phone
while watching a Thomas video. 'Stache gave her a half dose of Benadryl in OJ at 7:30, she went
to sleep 7:45, slept soundly until 6.
